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Happy Valentine's Day

Chemically Induced Romance/Love Is In the Drugs


The 60's got it all wrong. You don’t need drugs to get high. Just fall in love! Place yourself in a romantic situation and you'll produce every erotic and controlling chemical known to man. Once you set your eyes on your creature of perfection, there are a cavalcade of drugs just dancing around your little aroused noggin dictating how you should feel and what you should be thinking. The first stage in the journey of romance is …


Lust! Plain and simple … lust. We lust over movie stars, strangers … even pictures in magazines. Hey! I've seen some pretty sensuous cartoons. But this irrational behavior says nothing about our sanity. It's all chemically driven. When lust strikes, testosterone courses through our bloodstream, signaling our body into arousal mode. 

If you were successful enough to make it out of the lust phase and actually had the moxie to introduce yourself to your romantic wonder, you will find yourself controlled by the drug dopamine. Dopamine is the drug that makes another human being as habit forming as cocaine is to an addict. That's right … you're high. You need detox …and unfortunately you are at the mercy of your partner's emotions.


When they are happy, you are happy. When they are sad, you are sad. When they decide that the relationship is becoming smothering … you are sad. Come to think of it, you are very closely resembling a manic-depressive. You are either ecstatic that this is the greatest relationship since Cleopatra and Mark Antony or you decide to swear off dating for the rest of your reproductive life. Unfortunately for many of the love struck, this is when marriage vows are usually expressed … when they are high! As soon as the honeymoon is over this once passionate couple arrives home to a pile of bills, dirty laundry and a depleted supply of dopamine.


Thankfully, this wildly obsessive stage comes to an end. You can finally relax. You no longer feel the need to hang on to their every word and you no longer think that you have to respond in some creatively seductive format. As a matter of fact, at this stage in the relationship, you are lucky if you even hear them in the first place. Your clever repartee' has now been substituted with a few well-placed grunts. You have now entered that calm serene part of the relationship where the stress has been lifted but so to has the excitement. Oxytocin and vasopressin are now in control with the sole intention of increasing the bonding and human attachment that seems to be imperative in successful relationships. 


As a matter of fact, women who maintain higher levels of oxytocin during massage and while remembering positive emotions tended to have fewer problems in interpersonal relationships. So, guys, oil up those massage fingers and start working on your partner's oxytocin levels.

As addictive as relationships can be we do have the potential for ultimate control … thanks to the cerebral cortex. Through reason we have the ability to analyze situations and overrule our chemically induced responses to love. Better to have loved and lost than to say I do and end up doing time on the Jerry Springer show.


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